Archive for October, 2008

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Love is Freedom

October 26, 2008

I’ve been having discussions with some friends in a spiritual forum and the topic of being in a committed relationship versus a non-attached (or non-committed if you prefer) relationship came up. I guess the idea has been in the air for a while, and I noticed it first in my other blog, World Awakened with a submission by Phil Beaumont, called Come Empty and then another article I posted, called The Honeymoon that Never Ends that was written by Osho.

There is much confusion around the idea of non-attachment based relationships.  We generally feel that we need to have someone with us to help fulfill our needs and emotional security.  We then compromise ourselves because we feel that what the other person is offering holds more value than the freedom from attachments and expectations.

Below is a response I have written to a thread reagarding relationships and why people will often hear me say that Love is Freedom.

I perceive the more space one allows in any relationship, the more freedom to allow ourselves and the other to “BE” and the more we actually create a deeper bond.  Freedom in love is not based on attachments and obligations, but based on an appreciation for freedom that space allows.  The relationship may shift and morph and change into different expressions, but there seems to be more incentive to actually grow together and a willingness to be completely open and honest and transparent… because there is nothing to “lose.”   In non-attachment, the ability to be totally honest and open is even MORE present (at least for me) because I am in relationship for my Growth and I have a partner who reflects that for me in an intimate way.  If I feel I can be completely honest with someone and they are open to that, it is a far greater gift than being in a “committed” relationship where vows and contracts are made.  Being in a “committed” relationship feels more to me like (and I may be a bit jaded here) it is an ending or a closing off of love and there is a greater chance of taking it for granted and no actual growth or honesty or openness is required because it is a “done deal.”

Being in a non-attached or non-committed relationship allows me to push beyond my boundaries and be completely honest with myself in a way a committed relationship doesn’t allow.  One is a done deal and I feel like I am confined in a box and it confines Life, the other feels like I am in a relationship with Life itself and my partner is there to help me see aspects of myself that I would not have seen without him.  It is taken moment by moment which allows for little surprises and a freshness that the other does not.

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What is your Superpower? – part 2

October 23, 2008

Continued from “What is your Superpower – part 1

To me, The Incredibles is not about some super-humans who go about saving the world because they have extraordinary powers. They all have to overcome their perceived limitations and the limitations placed on them by a society that is only comfortable with mediocrity. Once they allow themselves to be who they really are, they start gaining self-confidence by embracing their individuality. In embracing the thing that makes them “different” they find that their unique attributes are their greatest strengths. Only upon embracing their uniqueness do they claim their true power and start to trust themselves to know what the right thing is to do in any given moment.

We all have attributes that set us apart from others. We all have unique characteristics that make us who we are. The Incredibles is not about some other-worldly super-human people, it is about embracing the self and believing in yourself to be and do what is right in every moment. It is about trusting your instincts and not stepping on your own foot. Most importantly, not giving a hoot about anyone else’s opinions about who you should be, what you should do or how you should act.

To be continued…

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Dear Lover

October 22, 2008

What are You showing me?

I feel so Still in a way I have never known

which brings rise to calm and centered

love I have never been shown.

What I feel though is not a love for

You.  What I feel is a love for… something

I could call Me but it is far more than that.

It includes you and goes beyond

concepts and personalities.  Yet

without seeing You, I would not see

All that I Am so perfectly.

I feel as if we are our own energy.

I have caught fleeting glimpses of myself

until now.

Our togetherness transcends

that awareness

and it is as if I am no longer a wave,

I have become the ocean.

Our energy is like the calmest

sea and the beauty of “All That Is”

is perfectly reflected

and contained within our waters.

Our waters are not rushing

or turbulent; we are tranquil and still

yet beneath that stillness is a

deeper movement.  I never knew stillness

could be so moving.  Every whisper,

every thought and every ray of sunshine

is felt.

It almost seems as if our stillness

were the thing that

makes all movement possible.

I’m not sure who to thank for this

is it You or is it Me or is it We?

Doesn’t matter I guess,

gratitude is

flowing and growing and

expressing here and now.

This was completely unexpected

and now I see the gift of We.

Thank you Dear Lover

For helping Me to sea.

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What’s Your Superpower? – part 1

October 20, 2008

If you have ever watched the Disney/Pixar movie, The Incredibles you might relate to the idea that we all have our own set of superpowers.  For most of us, life parallels the movie in that we hide our true nature because we are afraid of ridicule, judgment and not fitting in.

In the movie, at one time, there were Superheroes all over the place, being true to their power and knowing exactly what to do in each situation.  They were completely true to themselves and in their willingness and courage to be true to themselves, they made the world a better place for everyone.

Then, after a series of disasters where many people would have died (and didn’t) the consciousness shifted and normal people who saw themselves as “less than” decided to file multiple lawsuits which cost the government millions in legal fees.  This caused the government to create a protection program to hide the identities of the superheroes and forced them all to go into hiding.

Through the years, the superheroes freely used their superpowers only in private settings and when in public settings, they used their powers in dysfunctional ways. They made every effort to hide their true identities out of fear of being discovered for who they really were.

Continued in part 2…

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Death and Self-Mastery

October 19, 2008

Sitting on the Edge

July 2007

The Universe is a funny thing… how it always nudges us to push outside of our comfort zone and claim ourselves.  I have a friend who has been one of my closest friends for the past several years and has also been helping me with my awakening process.   When he was twelve years old, he had his first Enlightenment experience and says he has never had the leisure of not knowing what he is.  Recently, he told me to find a teacher who I can share a physical presence with because we have never met each other and it is not known when and if we will ever meet in person.

Since he told me this a few months ago, I have been sort of passively seeking a Master who is in closer proximity to me whose level of awareness is more expanded than my own.  The funny thing is, the more I seek, the more I find that I am the teacher I seek.  I have met with two “Masters” recently and am finding that it’s not easy finding someone who can remain present and teach from a place where one remains true to ones Self-realization.  I have no prejudices with regards to spiritual tradition because they all meet in the middle, the point from where all else emanates.  My awareness is such that I can see that place where all traditions come together so the tradition is not important to me, it is the awareness of the teacher.

Perhaps the expectation of followers is low when placed on a pedestal and called “master.”  Perhaps when teaching for a large organization, it just becomes a given that nobody has the same level of awareness as you do so you lose your edge and allow yourself to lose your presence.  Perhaps it is true that one must teach concepts in the illusion in order for people to shed them… but this seems convoluted to me.  Perhaps I am meeting with these people and coming up disappointed because my frustration is directed at myself and it is time for me to claim my own Self-mastery and stop seeking someone to hold my hand.  I don’t know what the reason might be or if there is a reason at all for my frustration.   I seem to be having difficulty finding someone who can be present with me and teach me from a higher level of awareness than myself… but of course that’s it, isn’t it?  My Self is the same Self as any “master” or anyone else who might teach me.

The more I find myself rubbing elbows with these “masters” the more I walk away disappointed and I feel that only I have my truth and only I can give it to me.   Of course, what better way for me to claim my own Self-Mastery than to meet with other Masters who disappoint and force me to go back and rely on My Self?  Maybe they are Masters after all… the perceived inconsistencies always lead me back to Self-reliance and claiming my own truth.  Maybe they are being present with me and that is their role.  Maybe the frustration I feel is that I no longer need a teacher and it is time I truly stepped into the role of the Master.

The fears step in and tell me I must have credentials or I must sit at the feet of a guru before being given that honor of being called “Self-Realized” but not everyone has done that… look at the Buddha.

Ego-death is very real… as real as any death… but when you have the courage to fully claim your Self and rely on your own presence, there is nothing more liberating because you know it is all YOU and that presence of you is infinite and limitless.  It also seems to be a constant process of letting go and surrendering everything you think you are so that you may know what you truly are.

Uncovering the Divine Within - cover

preview the book

Kerri Kannan lives in the NY Capitol region, is a single mother of two girls, a motivational speaker, empowerment mentor, host for Aware Talk Radio and Worldawakened Radio and the author of Uncovering the Divine Within – A Journey of Self-Love.   To preview the inside of her book, click on the book image and it will direct you to a preview of the contents.

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Excerpt from Uncovering the Divine Within:

October 17, 2008

Click on the image to download the digital version of this book for $10.00 (33% off from the bookstore price)

I had an experience that very clearly showed me how I create my experience and exactly how powerful my mind is. I entered a speech competition. I thought I wanted to win and joined a second club with the hopes that doing so would increase my chances of winning. The way the competition works in Toastmasters is that you first compete at the club level against three or four of your fellow club members. There are four or five clubs in an area, so the next level is Area, then Division, and so on, until you reach the International level. In the second club I joined, there was a guy named Ryan who, at eight years old, won a public speaking championship for 4H at the state level, talking about LEGOs. Even before joining the other club, I was a bit intimidated by the guy and viewed him as the one speaker to whom I might lose in competition. Why shouldn’t I be intimidated? At the time of the speech competition, he was about twenty-six and had been a public speaker for about twenty years. Additionally, in the last contest he entered, he went all the way to the District-level competition, which means that of the 3,500 people who entered the competition in the district, he was in the top five.

In preparing for my club competition where I was to compete against him, I concerned myself with two things: I wanted to make an impression on as many people as possible, and I feared that I might lose the contest to Ryan. Sure enough, I did make an impression on many people who attended the competition, and sure enough, I came in second to Ryan. That was okay, though, because I still had the other club that I would be competing in, and even though the club was four times the size of the club I was in with Ryan, I had no fears about winning that one. Sure enough, I placed first in that contest and won the opportunity to compete at the Area level, where I would again compete against Ryan.
In preparing for the Area level competition, the first concern I had was about losing to Ryan, the second was that I was told that a certain judge who would be judging my speech was notorious for not understanding the types of speeches I give. I was concerned that the judge would not “get it,” so I spent hours improving and simplifying my speech in hopes that the judge would understand and not give me a low mark because he didn’t understand the speech. The change, I thought, would then allow me to come in first, ahead of Ryan.
The title of my speech was “Whatever Doesn’t Kill you Only Makes you Stronger.” I talked about how we draw certain experiences to ourselves through our thoughts. I used my three favorite examples: my grandmother, my ballet teacher, and Andy. I explained to the audience that I had the thoughts first and that I drew the experiences to myself in order to provide myself the context to understand what I had been thinking.

I then told them how they could change their thoughts and focus on positive things in order to filter out negative experiences, and thereby draw more positive experiences to themselves. I delivered the speech with poise and purpose; my gestures were right on; my eye contact was perfect. I knew the speech was filled with great content, that it was the best damn speech I had ever delivered.
Afterward, I was getting thumbs up all over, and many people told me that they were affected by my words. Then the Area governor stood up and said, “The person who will represent Area forty eight in the event that the winner can not be present is Kerri Kannan.” What? I couldn’t believe it; I didn’t win.
A few very interesting things happened next. First, Ryan won. The judge I had concerned myself about came up to me and said, “You know, your stories were good, but I just didn’t get it.” Also, a line of people waited to talk to me and tell me what a great impact I made on them with the speech.
It took an hour of feeling sorry for myself before it hit me: I had drawn to myself the exact outcome that I had been focusing on. I thought I was focused on winning because I was thinking about not wanting to lose to Ryan and not wanting that judge to miss the point. The only thing I focused on in the positive was that I wanted to affect as many people as possible, and that happened too.
I tell this story to illustrate two points: First, we do indeed draw to ourselves the exact experiences that we focus our thoughts on, and our minds are very powerful; second, the universe is unbiased and nonjudgmental. It will not negate the energy of our focus. If we focus on what we do not want, we will draw that experience to ourselves. If we focus on what we do want, we will draw that experience to ourselves. We need always to think in the positive. Positive thinking will bring us positive results.

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Embracing the Inner Bitch

October 16, 2008

A huge step in my personal growth process was learning how to embrace my inner bitch. Women oftentimes go through life trying to keep our good face forward while attending to the needs of others. Sometimes we just don’t feel like being so accommodating so we hide behind a wall of niceties and platitudes while seething inside because we are afraid of our true feelings. This behavior perpetuates cycles of self-denial until we really start to become aware of our inner seething.

A few years ago, I was caught up in a complicated relationship scenario with a man in my spiritual family. Shortly after our involvement abruptly ended, the man started seeing another woman within the same spiritual circle. Although the man would not talk to me directly, and I never felt I had any closure, he was more than happy to have his new woman battle me. Day after day we battled in front of my spiritual family while they helped us get through the process. Every time I had a minor breakthrough, I expressed superficial gratitude to her for helping me see it.

One day, one of the men in our group said, “Kerri, stop! You don’t appreciate her, you don’t love her, you are not grateful for her being in your life to help you understand your process. You are very similar. You are both passionate about your spiritual growth process, you are both intelligent, you are both outspoken and you both have attracted the same type of man. Admit that you wish she never stepped foot into your life!” I didn’t want to admit that. I wanted to see the good in the situation but was unwilling to admit to myself that I was really seething.

I realized that my friend was right. Rather than telling her how much I appreciated her, I just admitted that I hated everything about her presence in my life. This is when things started getting really good.

I calmed down, and realized that what I saw in her was my exact reflection and I had been fighting myself all along. From then on, I would not meet her attack and I validated everything she said about me as truth.

Eventually, she softened and we both realized that we were almost exactly alike. I had to embrace my inner bitch and let myself voice my true feelings. Once that happened, the thought of being a bitch no longer held power over me. I could allow myself to feel when something isn’t right and express that without worrying about how people perceive me. Now, if people think I’m a bitch so be it, the thought no longer holds any power over me. I find it amusing to witness when people try to insult me and become irritated because their words can not affect my peace of mind. Knowing you can be perfectly content while someone is trying to insult you is perhaps the sweetest revenge there is.

The woman and I are now very close. In fact, she is one of the few people who I completely trust. After the fighting stopped, the guy quickly dumped her, joined a cult, got someone pregnant and married to the mother of his new baby. Now I can honestly say I do love her I would not be who I am now without our experience. Embracing my inner bitch allowed me to see that no matter what I feel, it’s all okay and I just needed to accept it because in accepting it, I accepted myself.

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